Three Stupid Kids That Ruined the Fun for the Rest of Us

     There are many instances where a toy has seemed to be dangerous for children, or may promote a risk to those involved in using it, however, this was not eh case for the Aqua Assault RoboFighter, which was a very fun toy for 99% of users. It shot plastic missles as well as squirted out water, making it a super exciting toy for chilren. However, three children managed to kill themselves because of this toy, and as a result, the toy is now discontinued. The article named "Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids" was published by Theonion.com and it very harshly reprimanded these three children for engaging in dumb acts that led to their deaths, but more importantly, the discontinuation of the toy. Obviously, this article is full of sarcasm adn satire. One can notice merely by reading the title that there is no way that anyone thinks the death of three children can be less important than a toy.
     The first little boy died by shooting teh plastic missle launcher up his nose, ausing a severe brain hemerage. The purpose behind his actions was that so teh plastic missle can launch through his body and shoot out of his belly button. The second little girl died by breaking the toy into pieces, adn then consuming the pieces, assuming they then became edible. The third boy died by jumping off of the roof with the toy above his head, hoping to fly. All  of these stoies seem very sad, but teh author of the article, being very humorous as well as bluntly honest, deliberately mentioned how stupid these childre were, adn how they deserved to die because they are so stupid. Though the article may seem brutal for some, I had complete sympathy for the author, because it seemed as though he really liked that toy.